Success isn’t a secret…

There is no “secret” to success… but the truth in what it truly takes to succeed sucks to hear because it can’t be simplified into a simple attention-grabbing slogan…

The problem with blogs and books and speeches is the idea we must shrink everything down to a title and then make everything fit within the limits of the time…

This isn’t how reality works… becoming successful at your goals isn’t as simple as reading one blog, one book, listening to one speech and then never needing additional information again. Many people have done many great things and we all want to share our “secrets” that we believe got us to where we are today but when we look behind the scenes, the process was the same for all of us… it is the same process every successful person has followed since the beginning of recorded history. (This is how we know the process is the same- no matter how someone spins it in their viewpoint, it was originally recorded over 2000 years ago…

What does success really take?

Undeniable hard work, dedication, self-discipline, consistency, 1% growth every day, persistence, grit, patience, passion, strength, courage, risk, motivation, focus, creativity, willpower, positivity, habits, hustle, vision, goals, massive action, mindset, failure, sacrifice, self-discovery, mindfulness, belief, self-education, self-control, imagination… and this is only the surface of listing off words, this doesn’t even include the processes behind each one.

I have to be straight forward with you…


I’m not special.


I haven’t done anything that someone else hasn’t already done.

A lot of people have lost 200 pounds.

A lot of people run 100-mile races.

A lot of people have dealt with drug and alcohol abuse.

A lot of people deal with major depression.

A lot of people write their suicide note.

A lot of people struggle to recognize the face in the mirror.

A lot of people deal with poor self-esteem, self-worth, self-confidence.

A lot of people get bullied.

A lot of people don’t fit in.

A lot of people have an affair.

A lot of people lose their family.

A lot of people get divorced.

A lot of people lose their friends.

A lot of people get fired.

A lot of people must leave their “home”.

A lot of people lose everything.

A lot of people struggle with poverty.

A lot of people fail.

A lot of people must reconcile their childhood.

A lot of people must heal from sexual abuse.

A lot of people heal from lacking love in a way we understand.

A lot of people have had a life must harder than mine…


I am not special.

The only gift I’ve been given by the universe is being to dumb to quit and too stupid to fail.

For as long as I can remember, all I wanted was to be popular and get all the attention that the “cool kids” received… I thought that when I got that attention, I would finally feel “full” on the inside. I thought for some reason that when I became the “cool kid” that it would somehow complete me and I could begin healing the little boy inside that never received the attention he thought he deserved…

I still don’t fit in…

I never became part of the “cool kids” …

I am still longing for the attention…

I have made some progress toward healing though…

I learned to work on loving myself from the inside out for who I am; not for what I have done, not for what I have accomplished, not for what other people think of me, not for what group I fit in…

The greatest gift I have ever been given in life is my ability to handle the pain of not receiving the love and attention I think I need in order to hold true to myself, my values and my internal identity I wanted for myself. The ability to put off the instant gratification of attention for the long-term satisfaction of becoming everything I have dreamed of becoming…

Wow… it wasn’t until that moment when I wrote the statement above that I realized why I am where I am… I don’t really want the book or to be on the cover of a magazine…

I never really cared about a big gold belt buckle in Leadville.

I didn’t want to fit in to a group where I had to mold to their ideals over my own.

I wanted to learn to be me… and to be the best me I could possibly be because the only way for me to make a difference in this world is to be me in the full, unapologetic way I know how to be who I am and do what I do.

If I must hold back who I am, I cannot be effective in helping other people become who they want to become. I have to be able to say what I need to say; feel how I need to feel and connect how I know to connect to be fully affective at what I do…

I can’t be 99% and expect to help others become 100%.

The 1% different that I am is what separates me from everyone else- it isn’t that one person is better than the other, it is that the difference is what makes me unique and capable of making an impact on other people. If I would have conformed to the group(s) for the instant gratification, I would have never become the man I am today… and that would have been the biggest failure of my life.

Published by Gary Stotler

Gary Stotler is a father, running, fitness, weight loss and personal development addict. Formally 400 pounds, Gary has naturally lost 200 pounds, created a coaching & speaking business and has become a 100 mile ultra-runner. Holding a degree in Psychology & Sociology, certifications from the National Academy of Sports Medicine as a personal trainer, mindset & behavioral modification coaching, a certification in DISC personality assessment coaching and he is a certified speaker, coach & mentor with the John Maxwell Team. Gary firmly believes, if we take One Step at a Time, nothing is impossible. He is determined to let his actions show people what is possible and hopes to help you shake up your thoughts, change your actions and create your future.

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