“I’m struggling with my eating and have no idea why!”

Have you ever heard this?

Have you ever said this?

It’s ok, I’ve thought it, said it, lived it…

I had a client walk in my office the other day and as she said this exact phrase, I could hear the panic and desperation in her voice. I could feel the fear she had as she said it out loud…

I went through my process of asking questions and gathering information before I said anything. As she was answering my questions and starting to lose control of her emotions, I couldn’t help but think of the millions of people who feel the same way. I thought about all the people who are lied to about what will really fix their eating issues. As we dug into what was really causing her issues and then reflecting on myself and my eating issues…

After she answered all my questions and it was obvious that she was perfectly fine shaming herself before, during, and after overeating… the answer become clear in my eyes… but it was more important to hear it from her mouth…

I asked her: “do you believe you deserve to be healthy?”

It was like I dropped a rock on her when it settled in… with tears in her eyes and shaking in her voice she replied with one word… “No.”

I let the silence fill the room. I let her answer sink into her conscious mind. I watched the tears build up in her eyes. I felt the disappointment, fear, insecurities, and the years of negative self-talk rush through her head as she just blankly looked at me as her last bit of hope drifted away…


I wondered how people can sputter and spew so much nonsense about magic diets, pills, products, and surgeries being the answer to our problems.

Emotional eating issues aren’t fixed by eating plants.

Self Esteem issues aren’t fixed by running a marathon.

Self Confidence isn’t found by changing who we are to fit into a group that doesn’t match our identity.


When you look in the mirror, what do you see?

Do you see what I see?

Do you believe what you see?

Do you see what you want to see?

What is the story you tell others about yourself?

What is the story you tell yourself about yourself??

You must see yourself as you want to be seen before you can act accordingly. You must act accordingly before you become who you want to be.


Ask yourself a couple questions:

What do you want?

Why do you want “it”?

What are you willing to do to get what you want?

Who do you need to become to get what you want?

The most important question you can ask yourself is: Do you believe you deserve to become the person you need to become to get what you want?

If the answer to the last question is no, you found your starting place… Your future struggle isn’t about food. Your future struggle isn’t about getting out of bed. Your future actions aren’t about what you do or don’t do… Your future struggle is about seeing yourself as you want to be. You will have to learn to stop degrading yourself in the mirror due to your poor self esteem and lack of self-worth.



I can assure you I didn’t let my client leave my office with the negative outlook they came in with. When she left, I know she had a different viewpoint of herself. She walked out with her shoulders held high and a smile on her face.

More importantly, when she left, she understood what was really causing her eating issues. She understood it wasn’t the food on her plate or the workout she did that will ultimately make the difference… she knows it is the conversation that takes place in the 5 inches between her ears and the reflection she sees when she looks in the mirror that will make all the difference in her health and her life.

She isn’t healed nor will her road to a better life be easy or quick… but she has the tools to dig deep down and find the answers she needs to make the changes she wants. It is ultimately up to her if she takes the daily action to make the changes knows she deserves…

Join me online Sunday December 16, 2018 to find out how to change your mindset and making lasting changes!

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Join us here!

Published by Gary Stotler

Gary Stotler is a father, running, fitness, weight loss and personal development addict. Formally 400 pounds, Gary has naturally lost 200 pounds, created a coaching & speaking business and has become a 100 mile ultra-runner. Holding a degree in Psychology & Sociology, certifications from the National Academy of Sports Medicine as a personal trainer, mindset & behavioral modification coaching, a certification in DISC personality assessment coaching and he is a certified speaker, coach & mentor with the John Maxwell Team. Gary firmly believes, if we take One Step at a Time, nothing is impossible. He is determined to let his actions show people what is possible and hopes to help you shake up your thoughts, change your actions and create your future.

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